My Manly Minivan

Sometimes I pretend I’m driving a Ford F350 just to make me feel less inferior on the interstate. 

Driving our family minivan, which happens to be a KIA, chafes my culturally informed ideas about masculinity. After all, don’t real men drive pick-ups?

But what if our culture is selling a selfish picture of manhood as the ideal? What if we’ve bought into it hook, line, and sinker?

How do you know that the denim-wearing, three-day-bearded, macho-man type in the Ford commercial isn’t really shirking his responsibilities and placing his whims above his family’s needs in order to drive an overpriced ego booster?

This is not to say that it isn’t possible to be godly and drive a monster truck.

Perhaps this is a discourse in self-therapy, but I think minivan-driving dads need to unite. We don’t need a support group, but we do need a mantra – perhaps a phrase like, “I was made for a minivan,” or “I used to be cool.”

Toyota seems to capture this sentiment in their social-media ad campaign featuring a post-cool family rapping about their Sienna. I think the “Swagger Wagon” commercials are not only funny, they actually convey a small bit of truth. It’s okay to grow up. Boring is the new cool. Minivans are really just large sports cars for middle-aged family men. But I digress.

I drive a very typical middle-class minivan. It screams, “I’m a dad” and “I have a family.” And that’s more than okay by me.